Yes, like every other parent, I have my off parenting days. Days where I literally feel like I’ve completed no tasks but yelling till my throat is tired. I could vent for hours upon hours on how my son James laid on the floor of our local Kmart screaming, because he didn’t want to leave ( I felt his pain, I never want to leave Kmart either). Or how my daughter Maddy told me I “broke her heart into two” when I told her she can’t have an ice block for breakfast – true story.
Honestly I’ve had the moments where I’ve been so frustrated I actually yelled “FUCK” to the ceiling (as if someone was actually going to bust through the roof and save me) and yes I’ve had minutes where I day dream and make a mental note of all things I’m going to do when the kids finally hit primary school (6 hours of complete silence – heck yeah!). All mothers do that. It doesn’t mean we hate motherhood, or that we regret having babies. I love being mother. Hands down has got to be the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Apart from discovering Korean Dramas – have you ever watched an episode? It’s a drug I tell you!
You know what beats the thing’s that my kids do that drive me insane? The things they do that make me love being a mother! To celebrate our special day – Mothers Day. I have listed a few things that I love about being a mother.
1. The Lessons They’ve Taught Me
My kids have taught me more lessons than I could have ever learnt in my years of studying, reading books and pinning on Pinterest. All us mothers can agree that our kids have enlightened us, taught us things about ourselves, about the world and about empathy.
As annoying as the constant “why?” our kids ask us can be, it really opens up our minds.
“Mum, why is the sky blue?” Had to google that one.
“Mum, why does everything cost money?”
“Mum, if you and daddy are true loves first kiss then why are you yelling at each other?”
There was even a time when I explained to Maddy what poverty is and she asked me “Why don’t people who have money share it with the poor people?” Yes, my four year old asked me that. Trying to explain an answer to what seemed like a simple question made me just sit still and think “far out, ay.”
I’ve always been a person with a lot of empathy, but never to the level that I have now. Our kids have so much innocence. They haven’t been jaded like we have. They don’t see things as complicated as we do. They have a fresh new set of eyes that makes me look at things and learn lessons that I’ve never realised before.
Kids are all about forgiving. One minute they are literally fist fighting with each other, the next they are both holding hands and playing like nothing ever happened. Kids forgive so easily, they never carry a grudge.
No good parent loves spanking or yelling at their children. Yes we do it, because it’s our job to teach them the difference between right and wrong, and sometimes yes we do it out of frustration, but the second we do it we feel guilt and sorry.
I can’t even count the amount of times I secretly cried in my room after I’ve spanked James on the arse for drawing on the walls. I spank him, he cries, I cry and then he forgives me.
No matter how much I’ve yelled, “broken my kids hearts into two” or made my kids cry, they will always come to back to me, hug me and love me. And that’s one thing I will never forget. Your kids will always forgive you.
3. Purpose & Strength
When I went through morning sickness for three months, I felt like giving up.
When I pushed and got 2nd degree tears during birth, I felt like giving up.
When I had sleepless nights because I was rocking a crying baby, I felt like giving up.
There were tough days I thought I’d never get through and I’d think “Shit, I can’t do this.” But somehow I did. I got through them all. And that was because of my children. They gave and showed a strength in me that I didn’t even know I had.
And this is the reason why I think parenthood is probably the most challenging thing you will ever go through in your entire life. Because when you become a parent, you will forever have the responsibility of being a parent. You can’t give up and say “I quit this job, it sucks, I don’t want it.” You force yourself to get through the tough times. And you do it, every-fucken-day.
I remember it took me about 2 years to realise my fathers death, 2 fricken years from his funeral to realise he was actually gone and wasn’t on a long vacation. Boy, was I a mess. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to eat or get ready for the day. I wanted to stay in bed for a month, not change my underwear and just cry. But I didn’t. I had a purpose to wake up for, I had my children waiting for their mum to come and get them out of bed.
On my lowest of lows my kids always remained to give me a purpose, a purpose to get up out of bed every single morning, a purpose to take care of my health and myself. They are your reason to keep on going and stand up tall during the hardest of times.
As much as my kids drive me up the wall with their antics, they also use those antics to have me rolling on the floor laughing (literally, ROFL).
I could spend the entire day chasing my kids, yelling at them, putting them in the naughty corner over something ridiculous that they’ve done. But, no matter what, at the end of every single day, I find myself reflecting and I start laughing. It’s the exact same ridiculous things my kids did which drove me up the wall, that also had me laughing in bed that very moment.
There was a time when Maddy was just under 2 years old and she kept running away from me every time I tried giving her her medicine. She would bolt and I would have to chase after her. She tried running and hiding from me so many times that she ended up getting stuck under the dining table – don’t ask me how. At the time I was so upset and frustrated, but later on that night I was in tears from laughing at the exact same situation.
Children will make you experience a time of laughter you’ve never had before, and they will guarantee to give you that every single day, for the rest of your life. It’s amazing.
I’ve loved many before my children. I loved hard. But then my kids were introduced into my life and I experienced a whole new level of love. It’s really a different kind of love. It’s different to the love you have for your own parents, for your friends or your partner. I don’t know if this will make any kind of sense but the love a mother has for her children is like this warm, pure, light, unconditional glow of love.
I remember when I had my first born Maddy, I was head over heels in love with her. My whole universe revolved around her. Then I got pregnant with James. I had this fear before he came. I was worried and thought “No way could I have enough love to give him, I’ve used it all up on Maddy.” But I was wrong. As soon as I held James in my arms for the first time, I felt it. I felt that warm, pure, light, unconditional glow of love for him. It was like the love just poured out and kept refilling. I didn’t run out of it like I thought I would. It was an outpour of love.
Children give you this sense and type of love that you will never experience any other way. It’s just beautiful.
There are so many more things I love about being a mother. Like seeing my kids satisfied faces after they eat a home made meal I’ve prepared, dancing like crazy with them to Kpop or the late night cuddles I get when they sneak into our bedroom at 2 o’clock in the morning. Motherhood has a lot of perks and I would never exchange it for anything in this world.
Happy Mothers Day to my fellow warriors out there. Please never forget everything we do as Mothers. We are strong, amazing women, who always gets shit done, juggles tasks, has a permanent memo in our heads and continuously wipes spilt milk. We are the bravest and strongest out there and no one could ever replace our position – because only we can do, what we do, for our own. Happy Mothers Day!